God is Real and So Freaking Good

I've never gotten religious on this blog before but I'm changing that right now. I have a story that just happened and I need to get it out before I forget.

This week in school is a doozy. Well, forget just school. Everything is a doozy. We had to get rid of Emmett's binky and it is NOT going well. The kid never sleeps now. He just cries. Then I had to keep Eli home from school one day because he threw up all over our bedroom floor in the middle of the night. Add in the school stuff and it just feels like a lot.

This is the week all 3 of my classes have decided to slam me with huge projects after lulling me into a false sense of security that I could handle taking 3 classes this semester. It's Thursday night and I'm barely 20% done with my assignments for the week.  And to think, here I am now writing this blog post at 10 pm instead of chugging through the next assignment. But, I have faith that it will work out. I need to share what's on my mind. (Plus this post won't take too long and I'm kind of on a roll now)

I know it will work out because when I first saw the workload ahead of me, the first thing I did was drop my head and pray. I prayed for strength to handle the load, peace of mind and heart to not get overstressed, and most importantly, energy to manage everything I need to. I knew I couldn't do it alone and I'm so glad I asked for help.

I've just spent every possible minute of study time this afternoon struggling through a group assignment for my Social Media Advertising class. My fellow group member and I were getting absolutely nowhere and were met with error messages left and right. I couldn't even get access to the ad manager page, and it wasn't allowing her to do anything. ANYTHING. Since I had to pick up the kids from school, we dropped it and decided to try again tonight.

All day long, I expected to feel outrageously stressed but I had nothing but peace. For my constant-anxiety-riddled brain, that was a miracle.

When we got back to it, suddenly there was a miraculous second way for the group leader to add me to the account that wasn't there before. And it actually worked. Once I was added, I miraculously found some hidden settings and even more hidden permissions deep in the recesses of the website and found several key permissions that had defaulted to "off." Once those settings were changed, the assignment fell together like magic!

I know I had divine help in finding those settings - they were seriously HIDDEN. (Way to go, Facebook Ads Manager) I know I've had divine help managing my load this whole week. It's not just been this assignment. I've experienced extra strength every day even with less sleep, more work, and having less study time than I normally have. I know these are the Lord's tender mercies and I am so grateful He's blessed me with them this week.

I guess that's my testimony for the night. God is real. He hears our prayers and He wants to help. But we still need to do our part. I will most definitely be staying up late and putting in whatever hours I need to so I can get this done. He can't help if I don't try.

I also think it's worth mentioning that I've given extra attention to having consistent scripture study the last couple weeks. This is an area I've always been a bit weak in and I believe these blessings are also in response to that effort.

So there you have it. Make time for God and know that He's real. Trust that He will hold you up and walk with you through tough weeks.

Isaiah 45:2-3 KJV
2 I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight: I will break in pieces the gates of brass, and cut in sunder the bars of iron:
3 And I will give thee the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places, that thou mayest know that I, the Lord, which call thee by thy name, am the God of Israel.

Good night my friends.

6 Ways to Escape a Terrible Conversation

We've all been there. One minute you're hanging out, happily mingling with fellow party-goers and the next? BAM. You find yourself trapped in a dead-end conversation with some poor fool who just won't stop. You realized the conversation was dead three and a half topics ago and you've tried to get away but nothing works. What started as a lovely exchange in small talk soon became a hostage situation and you're getting desperate. What in the world can you do?

Never fear, Awkward Chelsea is here! Here are 6 sure-fire ways to escape that terrible conversation, ranked in order of how desperate you need to be to pull it off.

1) Excuses, Excuses

This one's definitely the easiest to accomplish. Just make up an excuse and politely exit the area. Anything from, "I need to pee" to "I think my dog's grandma just died" will work. Whatever you decide to say, the most important thing is: CONFIDENCE.



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2) Pass the Buck

This one's also very easy to do. All you need is another poor soul to take your place. Simply call over another person to join you and strategically shift the conversation onto them. This redirects the attention away from you, resulting in the perfect opportunity to sneak away quietly. Be quick about it though - your escape window may only be open for a short time and once it closes, you may not get the chance again.



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3) Cash Prizes

This one is going to take a little more investment on your part as well as some planning ahead. Before the party starts, sneak in and stash a few dollar bills in different places. You want them hidden from plain view, but still able to be found with a little searching. When you find yourself needing to escape, simply point to one of the stashes and say, "Whoa, is that a dollar bill in there?" While the other person searches, make a run for it. Be prepared to lose all the money you stashed.



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4) Shut the Door 

No tricks to this one. Just shut the door in their face. Granted, this one is only useful if there actually happens to be a door between you two, but it still takes a lot of guts and a heavy amount of desperation to actually do. Warning: there is a strong correlation between door slamming and hurt feelings, so tread lightly and be sure you're ready to commit.



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5) Toot and Scoot

This high-stakes tactic takes quite a bit of finesse to execute correctly, so be sure you are prepared to handle the shame in case it goes wrong. In a nutshell, let out a good ol' fashioned SBD (silent but deadly) and blame it on somebody else. While the stench gets everyone in a tizzy, you'll have the chance to vacate. Hopefully, the commotion will provide enough of a distraction for you to disappear completely and the person you're talking with won't follow you out.


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6) Sparkle Time

Ok, I have to admit, this one is not my original idea but you can't deny its effectiveness. Sure, it's messy and could end with you getting arrested for assault, but if you're willing to go there, it's guaranteed to get you out of there faster than a toupee in a hurricane.

I'M BACK!!!

I'm back ya'll.

And I re-vamped the blog for funsies.

It's been almost 6 years, guys. I can honestly say I've missed this.  Tons of things have happened that I've really wanted to share, but every time I thought about blogging, I got a weird, scary, vulnerable feeling in my stomach and I let it stop me from pursuing this. #realtalk

I don't know why.

I think I just let that nasty voice of doubt tell me I wasn't good enough and that my thoughts weren't worth reading and I shrunk away into my dark corner of shame and embarrassment. But I'm here now and I'm saying "NO MORE!" to that stupid voice! I love writing and I love sharing my experiences and if my dorky stories are able to make even one person smile, it'll be worth it...even if that one person is my Dad...(Hi, Dad!!!)

So, since it's been a while, I present to you in all its glory,

A 60-SECOND LIFE UPDATE:

(Audience cheers)

• Kyle and I made 3 babies and they're incredible.
  
  

  
  

  

  
  
• We have a crazy 2-year-old husky named Gracie who radiates more sass than I ever knew was possible.
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• We moved to Wisconsin so my cheese addiction is now socially acceptable.
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• I went back to school to finish my degree and I'm a much more responsible college student. I'm studying English, Entrepreneurship, and Social Media Marketing.
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• I've worked through some moderately significant mental health struggles in the last 3 years and I've learned a lot.
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• I run obstacle course races! It mostly involves me running into walls and hitting the ground real hard, but I always come out feeling stronger and more confident in life.

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• I'm teaching Gracie how to mush on a rusty mountain bike with terrible brakes. It's a real thrill.
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• I just enrolled my four-year-old in ballet so I guess that makes me a dance mom now?
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So yeah. This is my life. This is my blog. Thanks for being here.

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Conversations With My Kyle: Cupcakes

Me: Do you think it's finally time to throw away all these cupcakes?

Kyle: *gasps* NO!!!!

Me: *slamming my fist into every one of them* But look! They're all hard and gross! Oops, except that one...

Kyle: HAHAHAHA!!!! You're so dang CUTE!!!

Socially Awkward Birds: Cockatoo

This was me in another life...I know it...

Life Update

Hey!

.....

....So it's been a while....

Here's an update on my life.

I took a break from school, moved to a new town and found the most amazing job ever!
I'm getting paid to get cuddled and kissed by puppies all day.  It's a tough gig.
Jealous???  Yeah :)

I also got married!!!  Hooray!!!

Married life is the best, and comes with some cool new benefits:
My husband also doubles as a personal heater, a permanent cuddle-buddy, and an effective alarm clock.
I don't have to compete with anyone for the shower.
I don't forget to feed myself anymore because Kyle gets hungry more than I do.
I never have to date again! (Hallelujah!!!)  Dating SUCKS!
And of course, I got to marry my best friend...he never stops loving me, even when I'm pissed at him, and he's always looking for ways to serve me and make me feel special.  I am so blessed to have him :) SO BLESSED!!!!  I love that man :)

And we went on a gay cruise for our honeymoon!!!!   Hooray!?  Yes, there were 1000 drag queens on the boat with us....awkward...  Huge bummer though, they all really kept to themselves, and I felt like it would have been socially unacceptable to get a picture with them, so I didn't do it.  Sorry. But our room attendant Bernal was THE MAN.  He left us awesome towel animals like these in our room every night!

A monkey!!! Hanging from our ceiling!!!

Um...Sexy Rabbit?

Creepy Eskimo Man

My Kyle got me Left 4 Dead 2 for Christmas! (BEST PRESENT EVER!!!!!!!!) I now spend my free time slashing zombies with every sort of weapon imaginable.

I turned 21 and accidentally drew a bottle of polygamous beer out of the pile at a white elephant gift exchange.  I have no idea what to do with it....

I went skiing for the first time in my life with my cool new in-laws and I'm proud to say I'm a total natural!  I loved every minute of it! (Even when the 10 year old snowboarder crashed into me and gave me two huge bruises on my legs)

I had my very first pregnancy scare!  I'll probably have more of those...but I'm happy to report that there will be no honeymoon baby!!! Woohoo!!!  It's not that we don't want a kid eventually, we do! We just want time to be a cute little married couple for a while before we become a couple of cute parents, you know what I mean?

So yeah...that was my life in a nutshell! Thanks for caring! I promise I'll have a funny story up sometime soon-ish. K bye.

Socially Awkward Birds: Crow

Have you ever met an animal more awkward than a bird? I sure haven't...so I've created a new segment called "Socially Awkward Birds", where we dive deep into the awkward lives of our feathery friends. Here is the first installment: Enjoy!!!