We've all been there. One minute you're hanging out, happily mingling with fellow party-goers and the next? BAM. You find yourself trapped in a dead-end conversation with some poor fool who just won't stop. You realized the conversation was dead three and a half topics ago and you've tried to get away but nothing works. What started as a lovely exchange in small talk soon became a hostage situation and you're getting desperate. What in the world can you do?
Never fear, Awkward Chelsea is here! Here are 6 sure-fire ways to escape that terrible conversation, ranked in order of how desperate you need to be to pull it off.
1) Excuses, Excuses
This one's definitely the easiest to accomplish. Just make up an excuse and politely exit the area. Anything from, "I need to pee" to "I think my dog's grandma just died" will work. Whatever you decide to say, the most important thing is: CONFIDENCE.
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2) Pass the Buck
This one's also very easy to do. All you need is another poor soul to take your place. Simply call over another person to join you and strategically shift the conversation onto them. This redirects the attention away from you, resulting in the perfect opportunity to sneak away quietly. Be quick about it though - your escape window may only be open for a short time and once it closes, you may not get the chance again.
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3) Cash Prizes
This one is going to take a little more investment on your part as well as some planning ahead. Before the party starts, sneak in and stash a few dollar bills in different places. You want them hidden from plain view, but still able to be found with a little searching. When you find yourself needing to escape, simply point to one of the stashes and say, "Whoa, is that a dollar bill in there?" While the other person searches, make a run for it. Be prepared to lose all the money you stashed.
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4) Shut the Door
No tricks to this one. Just shut the door in their face. Granted, this one is only useful if there actually happens to be a door between you two, but it still takes a lot of guts and a heavy amount of desperation to actually do. Warning: there is a strong correlation between door slamming and hurt feelings, so tread lightly and be sure you're ready to commit.
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5) Toot and Scoot
This high-stakes tactic takes quite a bit of finesse to execute correctly, so be sure you are prepared to handle the shame in case it goes wrong. In a nutshell, let out a good ol' fashioned SBD (silent but deadly) and blame it on somebody else. While the stench gets everyone in a tizzy, you'll have the chance to vacate. Hopefully, the commotion will provide enough of a distraction for you to disappear completely and the person you're talking with won't follow you out.
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6) Sparkle Time
Ok, I have to admit, this one is not my original idea but you can't deny its effectiveness. Sure, it's messy and could end with you getting arrested for assault, but if you're willing to go there, it's guaranteed to get you out of there faster than a toupee in a hurricane.
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