TROLL

I'm a troll today.

I'm tired because I stayed up late rearranging my class schedule for next semester.  Not to mention I sold my blood plasma for grocery money yesterday and I learned that minor blood loss + minimal sleep = a tired Chelsea that feels like crap.

Also, I've got a nasty case of PMS and if that statement makes you feel awkward, deal with it.  I'm an awkward person.  That's why I have this blog, remember???

AND my cute pants ripped at Walmart the other day so I was forced to wear my ugly pants today...don't judge.  Everyone has a pair of ugly pants and are forced to wear them from time to time.

But those aren't the only reasons I'm a troll today...the worst part of my day happened in Psychology.  Let me give you a general idea of what my Psych class is like.  It has about 200 freshmen in it who absolutely don't care about learning anything, being quiet, or even being generally nice people for that matter.  My professor doesn't really go deeper than surface level with any of the topics we cover, yet tests us on the most detailed basis ever.  All of the test questions are about very abstract applications of concepts and often have multiple right answers.  It's a nightmare.

So I had a test today in this torture chamber they call Intro to Psych and I wasn't too worried about it to begin with.  I had studied, I felt like I really understood the concepts, and I've been doing very well in this class all semester.  So I walk in hoping to just find a seat, sit down, and get ready to conquer this test.  But do I get to do that? NO.  I walk into the lecture hall and it looks like this:

Absolutely none of the seats in the middles of the rows have been taken.  What is up with that???  Either everyone has a really weird obsession with the end seats or they have all collectively decided those middle seats were venomous.  This is a phenomenon I really don't understand...I mean I personally don't care whether I'm sitting on the end or in the middle, why on earth does everybody else?  A seat is a seat is a seat is a seat!  I mean really, isn't it common courtesy to NOT do obnoxious things like block up the whole row of seats with all of your millions of backpacks, purses, jackets, and long boards and then get all mad when people have to climb over you?

Oh sorry, obnoxious stranger, don't mind me, I'm just trying to climb your mountain of crap so I can find a seat and take this test like a normal person.

So I awkwardly crawl over some guy, and pick a seat in the middle of the row so no one has to crawl over me after crawling over the first guy.  See? I'm a decent human being who understands basic concepts like not forcing people to crawl on you.  As more and more people begin to file in, the room gets louder and louder.  And then it's like it's suddenly become this major competition to see who can talk the loudest and EVERYBODY'S WINNING.

 Then this girl comes and sits right next to me and she's totally...you know the type.  With expensive clothes, strong perfume, upturned nose, and the lip gloss? Yeah, that kind....but it's no big deal, I don't care if she sits next to me.  As long as she doesn't start talking to me, I'll be fine.  And of course, as soon as that thought crosses my mind, she turns to me and asks me to move down a seat.  I don't really fully understand why she wanted me to do that, I mean she had two friends waiting to sit by her but she also had two empty seats on the other side of her.  But whatever, I oblige because it's not evil to ask someone to move down a seat.  So I move over, and then this girl's two friends decide to take a seat on either side of her.


Now I'm just sitting there, minding my own business, waiting for the test to begin, and this chick's friend turns to me and asks tells me to move down an extra seat.  I really don't know what's going on now, they don't have anymore friends waiting to sit next to them, but even if they did this little club has an extra seat next to the guy on the other side. At this point, I've already gotten comfortable, I'm sick of all the people in the room and I DO NOT want to move.  But, being the nice-ish person I am, I get up and grudgingly move over a seat.  I figure maybe there are other people that are coming to sit with them but they just haven't shown up yet or something...but no!!! Nobody shows up for the rest of the class!

At first I get offended.  How dare they just barge in and make me move everything for them when I was there first?  Commence glaring.

It was no good.  Their special test bubble was impervious to my death lasers...

Then I start to get all self conscious and I wonder why they wouldn't want me to sit next to them.

And then I see this for what it really is, these people just think they're royals and they want to have their little exclusive clique and sit together in their own little private test-bubble.  JERKS!!! You're not the princesses of the world!!!  It's okay though...I got back at them by putting parasites on the seats right before they sat on them, so now they all have butt worms :) (I wish...)

And AS IF that weren't enough to turn me into a Crankypants PMS Chelsea Troll, the test turned out to be super impossible.  Nevertheless, I did my best and managed to finish before they kicked us out.  But then, when I'm leaving the building to go home, these two girls sitting on the bench outside suddenly turn and stare at me right when I walk out the door.  And they don't stop staring at me either.  They're the same type as the wannabe princesses inside, and they're both just staring at me with that condescending up-and-down look they give the lesser people.  And that's what I get for leaving the apartment.

So that's when I decided I was going to be a troll for the rest of the day.  I'm going to sit in my little troll room and be the troll of my bed with my hairy little troll legs and eat my troll mac n cheese and my troll chicken pot pies and not come out.  Ever!  (Except to watch Modern Family, that's worth emerging from my cave for)